🧑‍🏫 Teaching Polite and Assertive

🌟 Why It Matters

In many cultures, politeness and assertiveness are expressed differently. ESL learners may struggle with:

• Saying “no” respectfully

• Making requests without sounding rude or too passive

• Expressing disagreement politely

• Asking for help or clarification in a direct but friendly way

Teaching these skills helps students communicate confidently while respecting cultural norms in English-speaking environments.

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image from trongduc25789

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🛠️ How to Teach It Step-by-Step

1. Define and Compare

Start by discussing the difference between:

• Polite: respectful, considerate language (e.g., “Would you mind…?”)

• Assertive: clear, confident communication without being rude (e.g., “I’d prefer…”)

You can also compare aggressive, passive, and assertive behavior with examples.

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2. Teach Key Language Structures

Polite Phrases:

• “Could you please…”

• “Would you mind…?”

• “I was wondering if…”

• “Sorry to bother you, but…”

Assertive Phrases:

• “I’d prefer not to…”

• “I understand your point, but…”

• “I need more time to decide.”

• “No, thank you.”

Use dialogues to highlight how tone, modal verbs, and softeners help.

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3. Model with Situational Dialogues

Examples:

• Asking a teacher for extra time on an assignment

• Returning an item to a shop.

• Saying “no” to a friend’s invitation

Practice these through role-plays where students choose polite and assertive responses.

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4. Use Role-Plays and Scenarios

Create cards with real-life situations and roles:

• “You received the wrong order at a restaurant.”

• “You want to ask your boss for a day off.”

• “You disagree with a classmate in a group project.”

Ask students to act out the situations using polite and assertive language.

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5. Reflect and Discuss

After practice, ask:

• How did you feel using these phrases?

• Which ones felt too strong or too weak?

• What would you say differently in your own language?

This builds cultural awareness and confidence.

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Lesson Plan: Teaching Polite and Assertive Communication in ESL

🏠 OVERVIEW

Level: Intermediate+
Duration: 60 minutes
Focus: Teaching students how to be polite and assertive in English using real-world scenarios.

✅ OBJECTIVES

By the end of the lesson, students will be able to:

• Distinguish between polite, assertive, passive, and aggressive communication
• Use polite and assertive phrases appropriately
• Practice real-life communication through role-plays

✏️ MATERIALS

• Polite and assertive phrase list (worksheet)
• Scenario role-play cards
• Whiteboard or digital board
• Markers or slides

⏰ PROCEDURE

1. Warm-Up Discussion (10 minutes)

Prompt: “What does it mean to be polite in English? What about being assertive?”
Write down student ideas and explain the difference between:

• Polite
• Assertive
• Passive
• Aggressive

2. Teach Key Phrases (10 minutes)

Hand out the phrase list. Go over each phrase, practice pronunciation and meaning.

Examples:

• Polite: “Would you mind…”, “Could I possibly…”
• Assertive: “I’d prefer to…”, “I appreciate your opinion, but…”

Have students repeat and use them in short exchanges.

3. Dialogue Practice (15 minutes)

Model a short dialogue:

Student A: I’m sorry to ask, but would you mind turning down the music?
Student B: Oh, sure. I didn’t realize it was too loud. Thanks for telling me!

Ask pairs to rewrite it in a more assertive way, then act out.

🎡 WORKSHEET: Polite & Assertive Language Practice

Task 1: Match the Situation to the Polite Phrase

1. Asking a teacher for more time
   a. “Would it be possible to get an extension?”
2. Saying no to a party invite
   b. “Thanks, but I’ll have to pass this time.”
3. Asking a stranger for help
   c. “Excuse me, could you give me directions?”

Task 2: Rewrite the Direct Sentence More Politely

1. “Give me your notes.” ➔ _______________________
2. “You’re wrong.” ➔ _______________________
3. “I don’t want to go.” ➔ _______________________

👥 ROLE-PLAY CARDS

Cut these out and hand them to pairs or small groups.

Card 1: Your neighbor plays loud music every night. Ask them to keep it down politely and assertively.

Card 2: You want to tell your classmate that you don’t want to work with them again on a project.

Card 3: You need help from a shop employee but they’re busy. Try to get their attention politely.

Card 4: You don’t want to lend your laptop to a friend. Say no clearly but kindly.

💡 REFLECTION

Ask students:

• Which phrases felt most natural?
• When is it hard to be polite and assertive?
• How do these communication styles compare to your culture?

Encourage sharing and follow up with real-life journaling or writing tasks.

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